A baby and a sock

The mother gave her baby a red apple. The baby tried to eat the apple. His mouth was too small. And he didn’t have any teeth. His brother took the apple. His brother ate the apple. The baby cried. His brother gave the baby a blue ball to play with. The baby smiled. His brother took the ball from the baby. He rolled the ball on the floor. The brown and white dog picked up the ball. The dog chewed on the ball. The baby cried again. His brother picked up the cat. He put the cat on the bed with the baby. The baby pulled the cat’s tail. The cat jumped off the bed. The dog chased the cat. The baby cried again. His brother let the baby hold a sock. The baby played with the sock. The baby was happy.

Credit : http://www.rong-chang.com

Gifts For A Teacher

It was at the end of the school year, and a kindergarten teacher was receiving gifts from her pupils. The florist's son handed her a gift. She shook it, held it overhead, and said "I bet I know what it is. Some flowers." "That's right" the boy said, "but how did you know?" "Oh, just a wild guess," she said. The next pupil was the candy shop owner's daughter. The teacher held her gift overhead, shook it, and said, "I bet I can guess what it is. A box of sweets." "That's right, but how did you know?" asked the girl. "Oh, just a wild guess," said the teacher. The next gift was from the son of the liquor store owner. The teacher held the package overhead, but it was leaking. She touched a drop of the leakage with her finger and touched it to her tongue. "Is it wine?" she asked."No," the boy replied. The teacher repeated the process, taking a larger drop of the leakage to her tongue. "Is it champagne?" she asked. "No," the boy replied, The teacher took one more taste before declaring, "I give up, what is it?" "It's a puppy!"

Understanding Women

Once upon a time, A genie appeared to a man, and offered him one wish. "HO Well," said the man, "I've always wanted to go to Fiji, but plane tickets are so expensive, and boats are so slow. Can you build a bridge from Los Angeles to Fiji?" Los Angeles "I'm sorry, man," the genie said. "You're pretty much asking for the impossible. That's six thousand miles of bridge. Plus, fuel stations and motels on the way. I'm sorry, but you're going to have to ask for something else." "Oh," said the disappointed man. "Well, can you grant me the ability to understand women?" The genie cleared his throat. "How many lanes did you want on that bridge?"

The Pirate

Once there was a retired pirate so he decides to live with his brother. The pirate walks up to his brothers house and knocks on the door. and his brother answers the door and says, "Oh my gosh , ''what happened to your hand!?! " The pirate said, "I lost it in a sword fight , but now I have a hook." Then the brother said, "What about your leg?"  he pirate said, "A cannonball hit it , but now I have a peg leg ." Then the brother said, "Well , what about your eye?" The pirate said, "I got some dust in it ." The brother said, "How could you lose your eye by just getting some dust in it?" Then the pirate said, "It was my first day with my hook!

Annoying Boy on Bus

A little kid walks into a city bus and sits right behind the driver and starts yelling, ”If my dad was a bull and my mom a cow I’d be a little bull.” The driver starts getting mad at the noisy kid, and continues with, ”If my dad was an elephant and my mom a girl elephant I would be a little elephant.” The kid goes on with several animals until the bus driver gets angry and yells at the kid, "What if your dad was gay and your mom was a prostitute?!” The kid smiles and says, ”I would be a bus driver!”

Wrong HighWay

Seventy-six year old Grace was watching TV at home late one afternoon. Presently, the 5:00 The lead story was traffic mayhem on I-95 a car going down the highway the wrong way. Grace suddenly realized her husband was traveling home on that very same highway.  she reached for the phone and called him on his cell. "Harold, Are you still on I-95?" "I am," Harold replied. "Well then please be careful!" Grace said "I just heard on the news that some maniac is going down the highway the wrong way!" "One?" Harold replied. "Aw, heck, they're ALL going the wrong way!"

Newpaper headlines

A man is out walking in New York city  when he sees a little girl being chased by a fierce dog.He fights off the dog by hitting the dog’s head with a stick and saves the girl’s life. The girl’s mother rushes over to him: “Thank you so much Thank for saving my little girl. You are a true hero. Tomorrow all the newspapers will have headlines about "Brave New Yorker Saves the Life of Young Girl” “But I’m not a New Yorker,” the man says. “Oh, then it will say in all the newspapers Brave American Saves Life of Young Girl,” says the mother. “But I’m not an American neither,” the man says. “So, what are you then?” asks the mother. “I’m an Iranian,” the man replied politely. The next day he sees the newspaper headlines: Islamic Extremist Kills American Dog.”